Hi Grace.. From Instagram you should know I’ve been drinking Baileys all night. #whoops. But in all seriousness, I have been trying to pitch you a television format (not content related whatsoever) for 18 months now. It deals with using social media as a way to both promote and monetize the program while simultaneously making the series an experience rather than a simple presentation. I know I keep saying I know. But I know you get dozens of emails like this daily. All I can hope is that you take into account Michelle, Soroka, Keith Huang, and literally anyone you ask from the PIT’s advice that I know what I’m talking about. That you believe me when I say I’ve put in 16 hour days for the past 18 months and that’s a lot of math I don’t want to do at the moment! I know the industry you are trying to break into, and I have well pasted to 10,000 hours, Malcolm Gladwell much more elegantly stated was needed to be an expert in something, of studying your work. Okay, but like, that sounds creepy? Jesus I don’t want to sound creepy! I want to sound sincere and for you to know how much time I’ve put into developing a pitch specifically for you. Why for you? This idea could work for just about any new media star. It’s just that from the 1st video of yours I watched, I’ve been able to finish your sentences. It comes from the belief that I hold that you can embody all the comedic genres that have brightened my life. Ok, I’m done. I’ve pasted that cheez ball thresh hold that Honey boo boo holds onto so dearly. like I said so so many times in the chat, I will be in Los Angeles March 15-21st. You will obviously be in Boston at least March 15th, and I have no idea if you will be going back to California before Playlist Live on the 20th. If you are, though, I’d love to opportunity to meet with you to discuss, if nothing else, you’re E! pilot, the future of It’sGrace, and obviously the way in which you present your upcoming show. Final plea: don’t stick your head up Seacreast’s ass. Don’t sign a contract longer than 10 episodes. You do remember that E! produced a reality show about the girls that inspired the Bling Ring?! I think you want to change the way people watch “television”, whatever that means anymore. If not, you’re not the person I thought you were. I’m going to curl up into a ball. Camp Takota was way way better than I expected. So, there’s that piece of encouragement if you needed any. I’m at the end of my line, Grace. Quite literally, if literally means totally metaphorically speaking. 18 months is too long to focus on a hopeless project. So just give a reason, just a little bits enough, cause you look like a potato when I, I mash you up! wait, no, wrong song. By the by, last summer, I made 142 videos (1 video per day, 7 days per week) asking to be your intern. Does that mean anything? probs not because I’m supes caz, ya know?
*side note to tumblr, all this is true. Also, I am incredibly depressed right now so you should just unfollow this blog now. I don’t think I can make Grace gifs anymore if she so clearly doesn’t think I have anything to offer her. She said, and I quote, “oh yeah I got that message from michelleakin a couple weeks ago!” Great gracehelbig, love it. you know how hard I’ve worked but don’t think I’m worth it. Seriously though. I didn’t think that I was hopeless and alone until now. So there’s that. Goodbye Tumblr. Goodbye Grace.